2019 Round-Up | 2020 Goals

I am truly shocked that another year has passed feels like yesterday I was leaving Leeds. I wanted to do a little look back upon what I have done and achieved since leaving Uni. Graduating with a 2:1 was amazing but I was left with the overall dread of what do I do now? what was it all for? was it worth it?

The thought of moving back home was daunting, I didn't know what to expect losing that freedom and going back to living under my parents roof but it's been totally fine, enjoyable actually. Since I work full time and basically spend the majority of my time out of the house it doesn't really feel like I've lost my "freedom". Now just under 2 years on and it's still so nice to be living back at the coast.

I felt a little lost when I first came back, I knew I wanted to be a photographer but I just didn't quite know how to get there. Although I did a Film and TV Studies degree I knew that wasn't my path anymore so I was driving away from my friends I have lived with for 2 years and the house that I loved, Chapel Lane baby we all miss you, it was just a lot.

However, a year on and it's totally Gucci. I wanted to give you a little update about what I've been doing with my life since I haven't really been blogging or posting on my personal instagram apart from stories of Amy's dog.

I have no idea where to start so let's just begin.


Job

So when I first moved home my relationship with work-life was rough, I was working two jobs one in retail and one in health care. Life without student finance is just hard but it was a great way to fill my days. I am a person who needs to be doing something, I can't imagine anything worse than sitting in bed all day on my own.

In October I finally secured a full time job, 35 hours a week earning enough to pay board, buy what I want and to be able to fund my photography business I have met so many amazing, funny people and it was just a laugh. Of course it's not my dream job but it doesn't make me miserable and that's all I care about.

Fast forward to October and I landed an image retouching job for a high-end fashion brand. It's not my perfect dream job but it's a start. I am really enjoying it I work more hours for more money but overall I have more work satisfaction. I'm praying I get to stay at this job for a good few years.

Friends & Family

I have to say I am truly blessed with the most amazing friends and family in the world. 2018 was so hard for all of us we lost some really important and incredible people last year but we all got through it together. I spend the majority of my time when not at work with my friends. I have gone down to Leeds a couple of times to see my uni pals and last winter I went down to Norwich to spend some time with Maddy, this year she came up to Newcastle and I think we've accidently created a tradition. I don't see my uni friends or my Vamps friends i.e Molly. As much as I would like but it's so much harder when you don't like 10 minutes away.

Lets all go on one big holiday? Cottage anyone?

Photography

I have been working really hard at my photography, when I first moved back up north I spent every waking moment I possibly could focusing on my photography work to a point where I was exhausting myself so I took a step back. Photography isn't as black and white as taking some pictures behind the scenes, I am messaging models, planning shoots, blogging, researching, learning new editing and shooting techniques, practising my editing, researching marketing techniques and building a website. Put that all on top of trying to be a functioning member of society it was just a lot for my brain to take in.
In 2019 I feel like my skill level has jumped mountains every new shoot I do I surprise myself  and as more and more people reach out to shoot I just feel this dream job might actually become a reality. Let's hope it doesn't crash and burn in 2020.

Mental Health

Okay its been rough but overall I have came a thousand miles even since leaving uni, yes I still have anxiety issues and I have the odd panic attack here and there but in all honestly I am a different person.
Since leaving uni I have done things I never imagined I'd be able to do i.e going to the cinema on my own, learning to drive, meeting models and so much more.
My mental health has came so far that sometimes even I forget I have anxiety issues, yes certain places or situations freak me out but it's hard to believe at one point I struggled to even leave the house.
Don't know about you but I am super proud of myself!

Life
This year in my life I have done a lot of things, 365 days is a long time lots can happen. I did some really fun things this year, from visiting Rome with my Dad, Florida with my aunties, London with Molly and Maddy visiting from Norwich. That being said I have loved all the little things, cinema dates, meals out, walks along the beach just hanging out watching horror films they are some of my favourite memories of 2019.

2020 Goals

I don't let myself make resolutions because I never ever stick to them, the classic "eat less chocolate" well I don't think i'm capable of doing that. However, every year I try and set myself little achievable goals that I hope to achieve by the end of the year.
- Pass my driving test
- Write more blog posts
-  See friends who live far away more
- Read more
& finally I want to continue to improve my mental health.


Here is a collection of photos from my 2018